In Memorium

Thursday, May 7, 2009

When I started my project in February, I sent a message out to more or less everyone I’d been in touch over the past two years, telling them what I was doing and sending a link to the blog. I got lots of responses (including one from my friend Will, who wanted to know if my message was really a plea for donations, he said he’d call the local Dominoes for me. My friends are so funny.)

One of the messages I got back was from my friend Kristy, who I had worked with at Island Press for many years, first in DC and then when she and I were both telecommuting from North Carolina (thankfully, the Kool-Aid eventually wore off both of us).

Kristy had been diagnosed with a form of neuroendocrine cancer in 2006 and had been through chemo, and as far as I knew had been doing okay. I talked to her on a semi-regular basis, and would try to meet her for lunch whenever I was over in her end of town.

I got together with her in December and she had started on a clinical trial of a new drug in September, and had been pretty sick in the fall but didn’t know if it was the drug or her disease or the horrible virus that had gone around that many people in our area had suffered from. She said she was feeling better, and nothing seemed to be too much out of the ordinary. She was helping her husband Michael with his business and ferrying their 8-year-old son Jason around.

So I was suprised by the message she sent in response to my announcement. She said that her health had taken a significant turn for the worse, that nothing they had tried was working and the tumors were growing. She said they were going to go back to the first type of chemo she’d been on, but her doctors weren’t sure if her liver would be strong enough to handle it. If it wasn’t, there wasn’t much they could do.

She sent a subsequent message a few days later saying that it looked like her liver could handle the chemo so she was going to start on that. A weeks or two later she sent out a message saying the results of the first round of chemo seemed promising and she was feeling much better already. She thanked everyone for their support during this difficult time. We were all so happy to get that message! We hoped she’d turned the corner.

I talked to her on the phone a few times over the course of my project and she was hanging in there, tired and weak but sounding pretty positive. She said she loved reading the blog and loved hearing about the media attention, and that the whole thing was really fun for her—she said it was a great distraction and could not have come at a better time. It really meant a lot to me to hear that.

So I’m incredibly sad to report that Kristy died last week. It still doesn’t seem real that someone who was so great and smart and talented could be gone so soon, and that it could have happened so quickly.

I wish I could say more, or say how I felt, or do or say something that would cause any of this make sense, but I can’t, and it doesn’t, and all I can say is that I’m very, very sad, and that I know I’m not alone in saying, Kristy, I miss you very much.

9 Responses to “In Memorium”

  1. megan Says:

    oh rebecca, I am so, so sorry. That is incredibly sad.

  2. Cheryl K Says:

    “Everyone can master a grief but he that has it.” William Shakespeare

    I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. I’m sure having you for a friend was a great comfort to her.

  3. Amy Says:

    I am moved by how well you convey what this woman’s friendship meant to you. May we all treat our friends with such affection. My condolences on your loss.

  4. Margy Says:

    I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. My thoughts are with you.

  5. Heather Says:

    I am so very very sorry for your loss.

  6. Heather Says:

    We didn’t know her, but through you, her life is touching us. I’m sorry to hear of her loss and wish strength to you and her family and friends.
    Also, I’ve made a mental note to my father to welcome her so she’ll have company up there. =)

  7. Heather Says:

    Oh, and cherish the memories you have of her. =)

  8. Adding my sympathies…a profound loss for all concerned. prayers are sent for her family and friends.
    may she be at peace after a long fight.

  9. Clean Simple Says:

    I’m so sorry about your friend.

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