Survival of the Hottest

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Egg Salad Bagel

Egg. Mayonnaise. Bagel.

It’s too hot to cook — it’s pretty much too hot to do anything — and my office lacks air conditioning. Right now, I’m thinking I might be able to make some extra cash by renting it out as a hot yoga studio. Bikram here we come.

For those of you who are working without benefit of air conditioning and are suffering from the heat, here are the things I’ve discovered are essential to survival

(1) fans
(2) ice water
(3) learning to accept the things you cannot change.

You cannot change the temperature of your room so don’t even think about it. Don’t talk about how hot it is, don’t think about how hot it is, don’t worry about it. (And whatever you do, don’t watch TV, you’ll be forced to listen to them tell you how hot it is and make up new metrics that make it sound ten degrees hotter than it actually is. Has anyone noticed this? They don’t tell you the actual temperature any more, they tell you what the heat index is — what it “feels like.” What it feels like to who? Enough with the damn heat index, just tell me what the temperature is, I’ll decide for myself how hot it feels.)

Go get yourself a giant cup — go to 7-11 and get a Super Big Gulp if you need to, you want a really big cup — and fill the whole thing with ice, all the way to the top, then pour cold water in then go sit in front of the fan and drink your ice water.

You’ll be fine.

But this post isn’t supposed to be about the weather, which we are not thinking about, it’s about my new favorite thing.

I wrote this a few weeks ago but didn’t have a picture, then I got the picture but then never made it back to the post to finish. But I had lunch at the Weathervane today and they had a Latta’s Farm egg salad sandwich on the menu for $8 and I was like okay I make that at home for fifty cents (with Latta’s Egg Ranch eggs and everything), so I’m definitely not ordering that. But it did inspire me to finish the post.

So even though part of me still thinks this is a really stupid thing to post, I’m not kidding when I say it’s my favorite thing right now, and it’s one of the cheapest and simplest things you can make — and you can boil a pan of water and cook a whole bunch of eggs at once and not have to heat up the kitchen again for days — so here it is.

I made this for the first time maybe a year ago when I was really hungry one afternoon and everything I thought of making was missing some key ingredient. After running through a dozen potential options in my head, all of which weren’t going to work for one reason or another, I was left with eggs as the only possibility. Scrambled eggs didn’t sound good or fried eggs either, I didn’t want breakfast, and then I realized I had mayonnaise and I could make egg salad.

Egg salad! Brilliant!

And it was fabulous. And then it was vastly improved the next time when I had it on an everything bagel.

So my new favorite thing is egg salad on an everything bagel.

And it seems sort of silly to give a recipe for this — like telling people how to pour a glass of milk — but I’m going to anyway, because it won’t hurt and it’s the first recipe I’ve put up in a really long time. You gotta to start somewhere.

My New Favorite Thing Egg Salad

[I think everyone knows how to make hard-boiled eggs but just in case … place eggs in a single layer in a pot and cover with cold water. Cover the pot. Put over high heat and bring to a boil. Turn heat to low and let simmer for 15 minutes. Remove eggs and chill.]

Makes 1 large or 2 small servings

2 hard-boiled eggs
1 Tablespoon mayonnaise
1/2 teaspoon mustard

Remove shell from eggs. Slice eggs crosswise, then chop. Put the chopped egg into a small bowl and add mayonnaise and mustard. Stir to mix. Season to taste with salt, pepper, and paprika.

I use yellow mustard, cause I’m a yellow mustard kind of person, but I think whatever kind of mustard you like and/or have around should work.

Serve on bread or crackers or a tortilla or a bagel. If it’s your lucky day, you’ll have an everything bagel in your house and you’ll get to eat it on that.


2 Responses to “Survival of the Hottest”

  1. Kait Says:

    You know. Martha Stewart has a better way to make eggs. Put eggs in pot in single layer, cover with water. Bring pot to a boil. REMOVE from heat and let sit 15 mins. Trust me, they are perfect every time. You can also turn the stove off faster. :)

  2. lessisenough Says:

    I’ve actually wondered about the simmering for 15 minutes because I know for a fact that if I try to make a soft-boiled egg and leave it for just a little bit too long it turns into a hard-boiled egg. So it didn’t seem to me that 15 minutes of simmering was really necessary, but that’s what Betty Crocker says, so that’s what I put.

    You can actually cook pasta the same way, turn off the pot and let it sit in it boiling water, you don’t need to keep at a boil for 5 minutes or whatever the al dente people tell you. That was a tip in More-with-Less which I started doing and it tastes fine to me. I’m sure purists will object.

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