Not Pioneer Woman

One of the articles I read about blogging before I started blogging talked about things to avoid and said don’t apologize for not blogging. So I’m not going to apologize for not blogging, and I remain hopeful that I can get back in a groove.

I was reading the New Yorker yesterday and there was an article about Pioneer Woman and her media empire. I had heard of Pioneer Woman, though I actually thought it was something different — I thought it was an actual person who lived a life without a lot of modern conveniences. Like that PBS series.

That is not what it is.

I almost got sucked into looking at it last night but managed to escape and start working on what I was supposed to be working on, but I did look at it today and checked out the cooking section and the main thing I have to say is holy cow that’s a lot of pictures for one recipe. Wow.

Also, um, it seems kind of tedious.

And repetitive.

And not that interesting.

With lots of things that are on a line by themselves.

People like this?

I also looked at Pioneer Woman Sux, which was referenced in the New Yorker article and that’s much more to my taste. I love that the “About” paragraph has a picture of Ree Drummond (Pioneer Woman, not the author of Pioneer Woman Sux) and says “Oh, and sometimes I like to post drunk.” I also love that there is a post called “Well slap my ass and call me Judy.” Though those both may be part of the parody and I just haven’t read Pioneer Woman enough to get it.

The Marlboro Woman is pretty rockin too, as is Pie Near Woman.

So basically I’ll just skip the real thing and go straight to the parodies.

But when I read the New Yorker article yesterday, I felt a small pang of missed opportunity. Every time I read about people making a million dollars from their blog I feel like I totally blew my chance at fame and fortune and blogging stardom by not cashing in on my People magazine/Good Morning America/Rachael Ray/Inside Edition whirlwind. Never mind that blogging fame and fortune involves (a) selling advertising, which goes against my values (b) partnering with large corporations to sell things while pretending you’re not, which should go against everyone’s values but apparently does not, and (c) extensively chronicling your day-to-day personal life, which I not only find disconcerting and generally creepy but would also require me to make things up, as my day-to-day life is not nearly interesting enough to sustain any kind of ongoing narrative. (Today I tried to figure out how to run a payroll in Quickbooks! And the taxes didn’t calculate the way they were supposed to! So I called tech support and was on the phone for two hours!

All the Photoshop in the world couldn’t turn that into something anyone wanted to look at.)

It also apparently requires photogenic children, a husband who is a millionaire, having no problem posting recipes you got from somewhere else that you claim to have made up yourself and then selling a cookbook of without referencing the original source, and an army of public relations professionals to maintain your site and manage your book deals and tv shows.

I guess blogging fame and fortune is just going to have to wait.

At least until I finish getting the Quickbooks payroll set up.

But in an effort to make it up to you, I’ll give you a recipe that is not related to anything in this post, and that I did not make up myself.

This recipe is from my favorite Marion Cunningham cookbook The Supper Book. They’re a little bit like brownies, especially if you undercook them. Sadly I do not have even one picture of them, much less step-by-step documentation, because I was making them to eat, not for the blog.

I’m a long, long way from Pioneer Woman.

Thank god.

In the words of Marion Cunningham, “These little chocolate domes, crackled on top, are crisp outside and slightly chewy inside. These are nice, rich cookies after a supper salad.”

They’re really good, and they are in fact quite photogenic, so if I make them again, I’ll try to remember to get some pix.

Black and White Chocolate Cookies

3 ounces (3 squares) unsweetened chocolate
1 cup granulated sugar
6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) butter, room temperature
2 teaspoons vanilla
2 eggs
1 cup all-purpose flour
1-1/4 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup confectioners’ sugar, sifted

Put the chocolate in a pan over barely simmering water until it has melted. Remove from the heat.

Put the sugar, butter, chocolate, and vanilla in a mixing bowl and stir to blend. Add the eggs and mix briskly until well blended. Add the flour, baking powder, and salt and stir until well mixed. Cover and refrigerate at least 3 hours or overnight.

Preheat oven to 350°F. Don’t grease the cookie sheets.

Sift the confectioners’ sugar onto a large piece of waxed paper. Shape the cookie dough into rounded teaspoon-size balls and roll them in the confectioners’ sugar. Place about 2 inches apart on cookie sheets. Bake for about 10 to 12 minutes, or until the top of the cookies feels almost firm to the touch. Remove from the oven and let cool for about 10 minutes before removing from the cookie sheets. Cool on racks.